Anonymously Spitting The Truth

I get so excited about the ideas I have, bloggin ideas.  Things I wonder about, and which I want to discuss.

But then I never get to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard. 

This blog STILL isn't home yet.  I miss my previous blog a lot.  This one just seems a bit dead.  But after I found out about my husband reading the other blog I dont know, I'm just not comfortable about blogging there anymore.  Maybe its cause he teases me about being a geek.  And maybe it baring my soul on the net that frightens me.  I dont know.

Its not like I'm keeping secrets from him really, sharing them on my blog instead.  He knows all there is to know about me - much more than I'm willing to blog about, but still.  I guess perhaps its just a mental block.

My husband is VERY old fashioned, and VERY conservative when it comes to the www.  He doesn't like facebook, and I guess blogging freaks him out?  He doesn't like the idea of me sharing my life with 'strangers', and at the same time sharing parts of his live, inevitably.

Argh... I wish I could just look PAST this and carry on.  As if nothing had happened.  I should probably talk to him about it, but I dread discussing something which I know he feels so strong about.

Still I am not going to give up blogging.  I'm loving it.  I've been blogging for about 3 years now, and I'm addicted in a way.  I find it great stimulation for my thoughts, and I find that I actually  get rid of some things that bother me.  When I'm angry with someone I just need to do a post about it.  I hardly ever make it public.  Still I put my thoughts on black and white, and after that I'm usually ready to fogive and forget.

Besides all that, I love writing.  I may not be exceptionally great at it, but I enjoy it.  I've always loved it.  I've even considered studying further, something like creative writing, but taking up a career with that would be a waste.  I hate being forced to write about something I have no passion for.  Same way with art.  I had art lessons at school, and I hated when we were forced to draw something specific.  I love being creative, but on my own, in my own way.

Yesterday and today I've been at home.  I'm off sick with flu and UTI, though I'm feeling better today, I still have a bit of a fever - my digital thermometer makes a beeping sound whenever I take my temperature, and can't go any higher - lol.  I'll be back at work again tomorrow, though I won't have finished my antibiotics by then.  Oh well, just two days of work, and then its weekend again, hey!?  Nice.   And there I was, thinking it was going to be a long work week.

I might write again a bit later, but for now I want to get back in bed, and read my book.  I've been reading quite a lot, but I absolutely love it.  I haven't read in quite a while, and I don't know how I'm going to stop myself...

I hope you all are having a pleasant week.  Take care, till later.

Gosh, when I visit other blogs I always wonder how on earth people become, or just ARE, so very creative. With the naming of their blogs, the themes, their content. Sometimes I feel that I lack so much. LOL.

Every time I've started a new blog, it took me forever to think of a name, and even once I chose it, it still sounded dumb. Still sounds dumb now. Which makes me think about something else.... Naming children. I wonder if you ever regret naming your kids whatever you name them. I know that sounds a bit mixed up, but I'm sure you get it. Anyway, I don't have a CLUE what I would name my kids one day. But its still a while before we start with that, so I'll just wait till then...

Damn I moan a lot, dont I? I heard yesterday that aparantly people are scared of me... WTF? I'm rather harmless considering that I don't have much muscle, and I don't keep any weapons with me ... Permanently in any case... But aparantly people are scared of me, in the way that they won't just drop in for coffee and a quick chat as they think that they might upset me... Now I'm wondering what I did to give them this impression.

Yes, I do have my own way of doing things, and most of the time I'm pretty adament about it, but I'm not so bad that people should be scared of me, or am I? Does being a perfectionist make me THAT intimidating?
Mmm... I need to work on that, and improve a bit. Maybe invite some friends over for a social, and then they might relax a bit. Damn, I never want to scare people... rofl, except maybe kids, if I was a school teacher...

What impression do you get from me. I know the web isn't a very accurate portrayal of one's personality, and perhaps you might be too scared of me to be honest - lol. But for what its worth, give it a shot?

Sitting here makes me feel a little like Alice in Wonderland.  Like I don't fit in yet, and everything is still a bit strange, still it feels hauntingly familiar.  I guess blogging is just where my heart lies, and whatever platform I use, it will almost give me that fond homey feel.

I guess I need to start focussing on what I'm going to blog about again.  I haven't shared much personal stuff lately since I've had a spy on my ass.  :P  It wasn't that bad - not a stalker at least!  But basically I found out that my husband is reading my blog, and I guess its just that I sometimes blurt things out on here to vent, and I don't always want to worry about what I say.  Or how I say it.  He didn't say anything about it, and he probably won't either, but just to keep it safe, I'll rather spill the beans in this new nook on the web.

Great. This is my third first post. The other two were 'eaten' by wordpress, so I moved here...

Welcome to my blog. I'm going to try introduce myself as best possible. I love blogging. This is where I am able to reflect back on my life. The happenings which I love and those which I hate. Its where I can reflect on the person I am, and who I want to become. Its kind of like a scratch pad for my life.

You'll find I'm a very emotional person, I can be ecstatic, and devastated all in one post. I would'nt say that I have a split personality, or bi-polar disorder :P I am happy. I love my life as it is. I'm young, and just married. I'm standing at the beginning of a new chapter, and though I can't see very far into the future, I am excited about that which lies ahead.

I'm passionate about writing, and I cherish the friendships which I've built here.

For those of you who know me, welcome back - thank you for being the loyal readers you are. For those of you who don't, welcome, and hope you enjoy the journey. You may know that I have had a couple of blogs before, but this is a clean slate for me. I have to start over due to personal reasons, and this time I intend to keep it completely anonymous. For those who know me, I would appreciate it if you could keep my secret :)

Hope to see you here often...