Introvert vs. Extrovert
I've long since had the struggle within myself about being extroverted or introverted. While I was at school I was the quiet, boring and not really featured girl. I guess I had my moments of loudness amongst my friends, but I was never a public speaker type person. I hardly ever landed in the spotlight, and the only time when I did, I was dancing, and usually in a group, so this was different. I wasn’t exposing ME as such, as dancing doesn't expose me as a person.
I don't know if I like being exposed as a person. Sometimes I think I do, I like discussing what I believe, what I like, and I love blogging. Randomly discussing topics which interest me. But there are areas of me which I would rather not discuss. LOL. No offense intended, but with certain things I become extremely private. You may find it strange that its not with things such as sex or the usual. Instead its more the kind of things about me which I do not like. My weak points. I don't think anyone likes these to be exposed, but I think I might be a bit abnormal.
Now to get back to being extro / introverted... Sometimes I feel like I need to be the loud mouth spotlight type person which I can only truly be in my imagination, and with my husband. But when I end up in a group of strangers I am the most uncomfortable person I have ever seen. I get nervous. My palms go sweaty. I go very quiet, and when I do say something I usually stutter or mix up my words.
Its for this reason why I love blogging. I can't stutter if I get nervous, and though I'm quite comfortable now, I still struggle to find the right words at times. Here I can "backspace" and correct myself before (or after) posting.
Still I'm struggling to know who I am really suppose to be. Are we ever "Supposed" to be anything, or is it just what we make of it, and what we make of ourselves?
Ugh, I don't like being philosophical, but I guess we all get moods like this....Don’t we?
