Anonymously Spitting The Truth

I really hope that winter has now arrived in its full glory.  Since yesterday, the temperatures droppped a lot, we had some rain, and it was cloudy most of the day yesterday.  Today it seems to have cleared up a bit, but its still got that bite in the air.  I don’t mind it, cause for a change I know what to wear.  Usually it was cold in the mornings, so I put on a jersey, but by lunch time I felt like I was going to pass out of the heat.  I don’t particularly like winter, and of course I prefer summer, but there is nothing worse than these mixed season days. 

Enough of the weather already.  My weekend was really great - spent time with some good friends, ate nice food with friends and family, and slept longer than we do during the week - which is particularly nice in this cold wet cloudy weather.

I heard something interesting yesterday, which I thought you might find rather interesting too.  I’ve never really wondered about how they kill wolves, but yesterday I heard a story.  I’m not sure if its entirely true, but it is rather interesting.  They aparantly don’t “hunt” wolves, or shoot them, but instead “plant” a knife with blood on it.  The wolf will soon find the knife, and start licking it.  You can now imagine for yourself what happens after that, but basically the wolf doesn’t know when he stops licking the blood on the knife, and when he starts on his own blood.  Disgusting, but still very interesting.  This was used in a “parable”, to explain how some people can hunt the one thing they think they really need, but in the process kill themselves.  This isn’t always physical death of course, it could symbolize a workaholic who completely stuffs up his marriage.  I just found it pretty interesting, and quite true. 

For now I have to get myself to finish some work, I promise I’m not a workaholic - hehe.

Cheers.

Sometimes I just stand amazing at the amount of wisdom that my Mom has.  When I got married my new surname was a bit strange at first.  You know, its just hard to make it fit with my name without sounding funny.  Even though I spent a good couple of years imagining it, dreaming about being a Mrs. 

However when I could finally, legally call myself a Mrs. it was harder than I thought.  My signature.  My e-mail accounts.  My person info on all my accounts.  I can’t just go and change it - I need proof.  I know I’ve got my marriage certificate and all, but still, its a hassle.  Changing my e-mail address alone is a hassle.  I left it for a while, thinking that its not urgent or anything.  Still I dread changing my driver’s license & ID - home affairs & the traffic offices are notorious for the horrible lack of decent service. 

My Mom started encouraging me to do the things which are easier though.  Changing my e-mail, practicing my signature.  All those things might seem pretty annoying and pointless to women, specially like me who thought that I would “eventually change it”.

My Mom realized something which I hadn’t yet.  For a wife to take on her husband’s surname half heartedly says something.  If however she is enthusiastic about the whole rig-ma-roll, it make the husband feel proud - after all men do see their woman as a trophy.  Not in an ugly shauvinistic way, but rather in a proud way.  Proud that his wife is HIS wife, and no one else’s. 

Oh well, I guess its not that way for all men, but I’m truly making an effort to get myself into the Mrs. who I wanted to be for so long

 

I’m not a sporty person, so going to the gym is particularly hard for me. The only motivation that I have is that if I keep going, I will finally fit into my summer outfits again. This isn’t a worry yet, cause its winter now, but if I carry on like this, then I’m going to have a problem in summer time. LOL. I’m not obsessed about being thin or anything, but I find it important to maintain a healthy lifestyle, and going to gym is part of that.

At this moment almost every muscle in my body is screaming in agony… I can’t even cough properly! For the first time in ages, I went to gym again yesterday and today. I went to gym regularly just before the wedding, but then I slacked a bit. I guess I needed either time to get into a new routine, or just an excuse for not going to gym. Either way, I’m going to do my best to keep going now.

Then I’ve been struggling with bladder infection.  I’ve been off sick due to it actually; twice in one month.  I’m doing much better at the moment, but they’re suspecting kidney stones or a bladder stone… I honestly don’t think it can be that.  I’ve seen people with kidney stones, and it HURTS.  I don’t think its possible to have those and NOT know it, so I’m just finishing my antibiotics, drinking lots of water, and cutting out sugar…  Or trying to at least.

Aparantly the bacteria that causes bladder infections grow on sugar - see, now I never knew that, but I’m definitely giving it a try.

Well, I thought I’d share that incase someone else is struggling with it too.  I’m also going to try the kidney & bladder tea from anniquea - A friend of mine told me that it worked wonders for her.

Hope you all have a great evening - I’m off….

I’m listening to Modern Talking, and feeling really nostalgic. I’m in the mood for dancing too… LOL, the last time we danced was at a cousin’s wedding in April, and my husband kicked the nail of my big toe - so bad that it was bleeding, and I’m still struggling to cut it properly since it hasn’t grown out completely yet. But I still miss dancing with him.
Dance lessons are quite expensive, besides we don’t have enough time for it.

We went to church on Sunday for the first time in a very very long time. Its a church which I haven’t been to yet, and I must admit, it seems to be quite nice. Personally I have something against churches in general - I guess bad experiences, together with “churchie” people who treated me like crap just put me off the whole deal.

You may be surprised to hear that I actually studied theology for a year! It was a long time ago, and I don’t know if I’d do it again if I had to choose. I guess we all do things when we’re young, and as we grow older, we’re not exactly sure why we did those things. Well, to be honest, I know very well why I studied theology. My dad is a preacher, and he wanted me to the theology / discipleship year. I know it may sound weird, and maybe even a bit hypocritical, but now I just don’t know anymore. Its not as if I’m any less of a Christian, but I’ve lost my faith in people. In other Christians to be precise. They seem to be so consumed by which courses you have to take, which preacher you have to see, and what songs you have to sing.  I’ve been really annoyed with that, and disappointed I guess.

Religion is probably not a very popular topic, and I’ve always avoided discussing it, since I grew up in a very religious home.  Its just that the last while its been popping up a lot.  If you feel slightly or even very annoyed, sorry, but I guess its a part of me which I’ve been ‘hiding’ since I knew it would cause a lot of ructions.

In any way, I am doing a lot of thinking, a lot of searching around, because in the end I know its not good to distance myself from fellow believers.  You’re welcome to leave comments, and I’m keen to read them, but please don’t be offended – I don’t mean to step on any toes

 

I get so excited about the ideas I have, bloggin ideas.  Things I wonder about, and which I want to discuss.

But then I never get to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard. 

This blog STILL isn’t home yet.  I miss my previous blog a lot.  This one just seems a bit dead.  But after I found out about my husband reading the other blog I dont know, I’m just not comfortable about blogging there anymore.  Maybe its cause he teases me about being a geek.  And maybe it baring my soul on the net that frightens me.  I dont know.

Its not like I’m keeping secrets from him really, sharing them on my blog instead.  He knows all there is to know about me - much more than I’m willing to blog about, but still.  I guess perhaps its just a mental block.

My husband is VERY old fashioned, and VERY conservative when it comes to the www.  He doesn’t like facebook, and I guess blogging freaks him out?  He doesn’t like the idea of me sharing my life with ’strangers’, and at the same time sharing parts of his live, inevitably.

Argh… I wish I could just look PAST this and carry on.  As if nothing had happened.  I should probably talk to him about it, but I dread discussing something which I know he feels so strong about.

Still I am not going to give up blogging.  I’m loving it.  I’ve been blogging for about 3 years now, and I’m addicted in a way.  I find it great stimulation for my thoughts, and I find that I actually  get rid of some things that bother me.  When I’m angry with someone I just need to do a post about it.  I hardly ever make it public.  Still I put my thoughts on black and white, and after that I’m usually ready to fogive and forget.

Besides all that, I love writing.  I may not be exceptionally great at it, but I enjoy it.  I’ve always loved it.  I’ve even considered studying further, something like creative writing, but taking up a career with that would be a waste.  I hate being forced to write about something I have no passion for.  Same way with art.  I had art lessons at school, and I hated when we were forced to draw something specific.  I love being creative, but on my own, in my own way.

Yesterday and today I’ve been at home.  I’m off sick with flu and UTI, though I’m feeling better today, I still have a bit of a fever - my digital thermometer makes a beeping sound whenever I take my temperature, and can’t go any higher - lol.  I’ll be back at work again tomorrow, though I won’t have finished my antibiotics by then.  Oh well, just two days of work, and then its weekend again, hey!?  Nice.   And there I was, thinking it was going to be a long work week.

I might write again a bit later, but for now I want to get back in bed, and read my book.  I’ve been reading quite a lot, but I absolutely love it.  I haven’t read in quite a while, and I don’t know how I’m going to stop myself…

I hope you all are having a pleasant week.  Take care, till later.

Well well well, our time of long weekends, and bank holidays are finally over. I’ve become so lazy from all these holidays, that I don’t know how I’m going to survive this five day work week! Last week we only had two work days, and most of my colleagues were out of the office, so it was torture to sit here in work in total silence.  I even felt kind of lonely, having to make coffee all by myself…

I didn’t so much do nothing, as I enjoyed the later mornings.  I have to get up at 5am each day for work, so I’m totally spoilt now by the 8am awakenings… *sigh*

Yesterday I baked.  Scones, and chocolate cake, and made some savoury pastries.  Its my husbands birthday today - YAY!!  He’s a quarter centuary old, and the family are all coming over tonight, so I had to bake - but I actually enjoyed it alot!

I love being in the kitchen, and though I would appreciate a dishwasher, at least I have a very helpful husband, who doesn’t mind washing the dishes while I’m busy cooking.  Very sweet of him, hey?

Mmm… Other than that we spent our time off doing shopping - normal grocery shopping, but also shopping for my husband for a birthday gift.  He’s been looking for a new sweater for some time now, and though I would prefer it be a surprize, I’d rather let him pick it himself since he’s quite picky about what he wants.

We also spent some time with the families, having a BBQ, and going to Monte Casino, which was really nice.  I wish I had taken pics, but alas, I forgot my camera at home.

I guess its time that I get myself into gear, and start doing some work.  I’ve only made lists of all that has to be done, so I should really get myself into action.

Hope you all have an awesome week.

I’ve never been keen on believing web quiz results, but maybe this one answers my questions of before?

You Are 50% Extrovert, 50% Introvert

You’re a bit outgoing, a bit reserved Like most people, you enjoy being social But you also value the time you have alone You have struck a good balance!

I’ve long since had the struggle within myself about being extroverted or introverted.  While I was at school I was the quiet, boring and not really featured girl.  I guess I had my moments of loudness amongst my friends, but I was never a public speaker type person.  I hardly ever landed in the spotlight, and the only time when I did, I was dancing, and usually in a group, so this was different.  I wasn’t exposing ME as such, as dancing doesn’t expose me as a person.

I don’t know if I like being exposed as a person.  Sometimes I think I do, I like discussing what I believe, what I like, and I love blogging.  Randomly discussing topics which interest me.  But there are areas of me which I would rather not discuss.  LOL.  No offense intended, but with certain things I become extremely private.  You may find it strange that its not with things such as sex or the usual.  Instead its more the kind of things about me which I do not like.  My weak points.  I don’t think anyone likes these to be exposed, but I think I might be a bit abnormal.

Now to get back to being extro / introverted…  Sometimes I feel like I need to be the loud mouth spotlight type person which I can only truly be in my imagination, and with my husband.  But when I end up in a group of strangers I am the most uncomfortable person I have ever seen.  I get nervous.  My palms go sweaty.  I go very quiet, and when I do say something I usually stutter or mix up my words.

Its for this reason why I love blogging.  I can’t stutter if I get nervous, and though I’m quite comfortable now, I still struggle to find the right words at times.  Here I can “backspace” and correct myself before (or after) posting.

Still I’m struggling to know who I am really suppose to be.  Are we ever “Supposed” to be anything, or is it just what we make of it, and what we make of ourselves?

Ugh, I don’t like being philosophical, but I guess we all get moods like this….Don’t we?

Wow, winter has suddenly come over our country, and I’ve been dressing as if I’m heading to the South Pole!!!  Ugh, it takes some getting used to - this winter weather!!

I’m wearing layers and layers of clothes, coz its like 6 degrees (Celcius) in the mornings, but during the day it warms up a bit at least.  I don’t mind the cold as such, as its very cozy, but getting up at 5am when its still dark, and freezing cold is not fun!! 

Each morning my alarm goes off at 5am, I then lean out of bed to switch on the heater, and then sleep a bit more till the room is warmed up.

I can’t believe how time flies.  I’ve been meaning to blog the whole week, but things just come up, and since I don’t have internet at home anymore it makes it so much harder!! 

I’ve had so many things come up to blog about, but it just escapes when I sit here…

Oh well, hope you all have a great week, and that summer is really starting for those of you who are in the Northern hemisphere!!

Cheers!

Gosh, when I visit other blogs I always wonder how on earth people become, or just ARE, so very creative. With the naming of their blogs, the themes, their content. Sometimes I feel that I lack so much. LOL.

Every time I’ve started a new blog, it took me forever to think of a name, and even once I chose it, it still sounded dumb. Still sounds dumb now. Which makes me think about something else…. Naming children. I wonder if you ever regret naming your kids whatever you name them. I know that sounds a bit mixed up, but I’m sure you get it. Anyway, I don’t have a CLUE what I would name my kids one day. But its still a while before we start with that, so I’ll just wait till then…

Damn I moan a lot, dont I? I heard yesterday that aparantly people are scared of me… WTF? I’m rather harmless considering that I don’t have much muscle, and I don’t keep any weapons with me … Permanently in any case… But aparantly people are scared of me, in the way that they won’t just drop in for coffee and a quick chat as they think that they might upset me… Now I’m wondering what I did to give them this impression.

Yes, I do have my own way of doing things, and most of the time I’m pretty adament about it, but I’m not so bad that people should be scared of me, or am I? Does being a perfectionist make me THAT intimidating?
Mmm… I need to work on that, and improve a bit. Maybe invite some friends over for a social, and then they might relax a bit. Damn, I never want to scare people… rofl, except maybe kids, if I was a school teacher…

What impression do you get from me. I know the web isn’t a very accurate portrayal of one’s personality, and perhaps you might be too scared of me to be honest - lol. But for what its worth, give it a shot?